🖤 What Happened to Akasha: The Rise, the Fall, and the Return

💔 What The Hell Just Happened???

At the end of 2024, during the height of the holiday season, I made the impossible decision to close Akasha.

The end was abrupt.

It was violent.
It was devastating.
I fought with every muscle, breath, and tear until the very last moment.

On December 3rd, 2024, I sobbed uncontrollably as I drove away—alone in my U-Haul—from my dream home, dream life, dream neighbors, dream clients, and dream business.

I knew it was the last time I’d ever get to live inside that beautiful life I had worked so hard to build.

The depth of that loss still reverberates through my body every time I revisit that moment.

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🌱 Sobriety and the Birth of a Dream

That life—it had saved me.

That life was my sobriety project, born after hitting rock bottom five years earlier.

While the world scrambled to create a “new normal” just days into pandemic lockdown, I was spiraling fast into a dangerous alcohol depression. Mommy wine culture had already normalized the day-drinking. But being mandated to stay home 24/7 with mommy wine culture mentality, almost killed me.

I reached out for help—but collapsed, unresponsive in the parking lot of rehab on March 31, 2020, before I could even make it through the door.

My BAC was .417. My body was shutting down. I was going into deadly withdrawals.

I barely survived.
And by some miracle, I walked away with no lasting damage.

☀️ Akasha was my resurrection

After six months in rehab, and another six in intensive therapy, I had no idea what came next.

Massage had not been in the plan.
But in the most synchronistic of ways, it arrived—like a quiet invitation.
A call to healing.
And I answered.

Akasha came to me unannounced.
A dream. A whisper. A vision I didn’t yet understand.
She showed me what she could be, and I followed her lead.

Together, we built something beautiful.

She gave me purpose.
She gave me hope.
She showed me how to reconnect with my body.
She showed me what connection and joy in sobriety could look like.

On August 1st, 2021, Akasha opened her doors.

She was beautiful.
She was full of soul.
She was my new lease on life.

She was a product of my healing—and my hard work.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt safe to show up fully as myself.

I knew instantly that my brand was authenticity.

And for the first time in my adult life, I began forming real, soul-deep connections—with myself, and with all of you.

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✨ The First Year: Love, Growth, and Hope

The first year was so beautiful.
So full of love. So full of support. So full of hope.

You showed up for me—again and again.
You believed in what I was building… and because of that, so did I.

Akasha’s first year felt like magic in motion.
The sessions, the conversations, the community… it was real. It was healing. It was home.

And for a moment, I thought maybe—just maybe—I could dream even bigger.

So I leapt.
I took a risk and expanded into a full wellness center. Akasha: The Alchemy Lounge.

I wanted to create a space where more healing and emotional alchemy could happen. What we were doing in the Erie Wellness Collective was so breathtaking, I wanted more people to be able to come home to themselves.

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🕳 The Cracks Beneath the Dream

Bigger isn’t always better.
And now I know - albeit a little too late.

I kept thinking I could fix it.
That if I just pushed a little harder, gave a little more, held on a little longer… it would all work out.

But sometimes, even the most beautiful dreams start to crack under their own weight.
And I was too deep inside it to see how fast the cracks were spreading.

I wanted to hold it together for everyone—for my clients, my team, my family, my community.

But the truth is: that leap crushed me.

And as I scrambled… drowning, I abandoned and crushed many of you as well

I AM SO SORRY 💔

It was too much.
Too fast.
Too many plates in the air.

You all came out in droves of support. I love you so much. So so much!
I just didn’t have the systems, the resources, or the nervous system to hold it all.

And by the time I accepted that truth, it was too late.

Addiction is a jealous mistress. She will sneak into the cracks, and morph into anything she can consume if you aren’t tending to your garden. She came to me this time in the form of what I thought was service to others.

I found myself for the 2nd time in a decade fighting for my life.

While by the grace of something much bigger than myself, I still hold on to my sobriety, I had neglected my own needs with such severity that it became life threatening to my health.

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🔥 The Collapse

That meant walking away from everything I loved:

💔 My business
💔 My house
💔 My clients
💔 My community
💔 Even, for a time, my family

My whole world burned down.

I had to let it.
Because survival was no longer optional—it was urgent.

My family, by proxy, was pulled into the firestorm too. Everyone’s lives were turned upside down.

Because of MY DREAM we lost everything. The house, the recreational vehicles, the perfect neighbors, anything we owned of value and our entire life savings.

Gone.

We found ourselves in a new city and a new state—abruptly, disoriented, and unsafe. We HATED it there.

Everything we thought we valued was gone. We were out of money. The streets were riddled with crime and drugs. It didn’t feel safe to leave the house. All we had left was each other. Thank God we had each other.

We didn’t celebrate a single holiday last year.

Every day was survival.

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🌒 Going Dark

This was all my fault. I had sacrificed literally everything, and it still didn’t work. And yet it did.

How was that possible?

In order to reclaim my mental and physical health, I had to go dark.
I changed my number.
I shut everything off.
I became unreachable—

Six months of darkness, grief, and healing. Sitting directly inside the pain. It was the only way.

I know that left some of you with confusion, concern, and potentially frustration.

I know it looked like I vanished.

Please know this: I haven’t forgotten.
Not for a moment.

If you were a client, a friend, or a supporter—I see you.
And I’m here now, doing the work to rebuild with integrity, presence, and the honesty that only comes from breaking open.

The Return 🩹❤️‍🩹

I’m returning to this work because I still believe in it.
Because touch still matters.
Because connection still matters.
Because you still matter.

I’m not the same person who opened Akasha in 2021.
And I’m no longer trying to be.

This isn’t a comeback—it’s a return.
A return to truth.
To simplicity.
To healing that doesn’t cost me everything.

I’m rebuilding slowly. Intentionally. Imperfectly.
With boundaries that protect my body.
With reverence for what I lost.
With gratitude for what remains.

If you’ve walked with me before—thank you.
If you’re just finding me now—welcome.
If you’re somewhere in your own collapse, or rebuild, or sacred unraveling—I see you.

There is no glossy bow on this story.
But there is light.

There is a future.
And there is room for you in it.

So here’s my hand.
Here’s my story.
Let’s walk forward—together.

🖤
Jenn